The best bedtime routine before the Ferber method

Right now, bedtime might be a long, improvised wind-down: a bath if there is time, a feed on the couch, rocking until your baby is heavy in your arms, then the slow lowering into the crib. It works, mostly. But you are about to start the Ferber method, and you are wondering whether the routine needs to change first.

Here is the short answer. The best bedtime routine before the Ferber method is short, calm and the same every night: roughly 20 to 45 minutes, in the same order, at about the same time, ending with your baby in the crib drowsy but awake. The American Academy of Pediatrics sums up a good routine in three words, Brush, Book, Bed. For the Ferber method, the one change most families need to make is moving any feed from the end of the routine to the beginning.

Why the bedtime routine matters for the Ferber method

The Ferber method teaches your baby a new way to fall asleep. A predictable routine does some of the work before you even leave the room.

The Australian parenting site Raising Children Network explains that routines help children fall asleep more easily because they know what is coming, which helps them feel settled and safe. It also says routines can improve settling problems and reduce how often children call out. The Sleep Foundation’s guide to the Ferber method also recommends a consistent routine with calming steps such as a bath or a story.

There is a second reason. The routine is where your baby’s sleep associations are formed. Whatever happens in the last minute before your baby falls asleep is what they may look for again at 2 a.m. The routine is your chance to make that last minute something that lasts all night: their own crib, a dark room, and you saying goodnight.

Brush, Book, Bed: the AAP’s bedtime routine

The AAP’s Brush, Book, Bed program is short enough to remember half asleep:

1. Brush. Help your child clean their teeth.
2. Book. Read a book together.
3. Bed. Get to bed at a regular time each night.

Here is how each step looks for a baby.

Brush. Before teeth come in, the AAP suggests wiping your baby’s gums with a soft washcloth after feedings. Once teeth arrive, children under 3 use a smear of fluoride toothpaste about the size of a grain of rice, twice a day. The AAP’s rule of thumb is that the last thing to touch the teeth before bed should be the toothbrush. That one rule moves the feed earlier in the routine, which is exactly what the Ferber method needs.

Book. Reading together supports your child’s language and social-emotional development, the AAP says, and it suggests about 15 minutes of reading a day. At bedtime, one or two short, familiar books are plenty. The same books every night are fine. Many babies like knowing what comes next.

Bed. The AAP recommends setting a regular bedtime and sticking to it, and says putting a child to bed even 15 to 20 minutes earlier can make a big difference. For the Ferber method, “bed” means into the crib awake, on their back, then goodnight and out.

A sample bedtime routine before Ferber

Routines vary by family, and yours does not need to match this one. The NHS lists similar steps: a bath, night clothes and a fresh diaper, dim lights, a story, a lullaby and brushing teeth if your baby has any. Here is one way to put it together in about 30 minutes:

1. Feed, in a lit room if you can, so your baby stays awake through it.
2. Bath, if it is a bath night. It does not have to be every night.
3. Diaper and pajamas, with a sleep sack if your baby needs warmth.
4. Brush teeth or wipe gums.
5. Lights down. Move to the bedroom, dim the lights and keep voices low.
6. Book, one or two short ones.
7. A song or a phrase, the same each night, if you like one.
8. Into the crib awake, on their back. Say goodnight and leave.

The Sleep Foundation suggests a routine of 20 to 45 minutes, and Raising Children Network suggests starting around 20 minutes before bedtime for young children. A shorter routine you can repeat every night beats a long one you cannot keep up, especially with two adults sharing bedtimes.

What to leave out, or move earlier

• Feeding to sleep. Move the feed to the start of the routine. If your baby still dozes off while feeding, gently end the feed a little earlier, or keep the room bright enough that they stay awake. Whether a feed is still needed during the night is a question for your pediatrician.
• Rocking or holding to sleep. Cuddle during the book. Then stop before your baby is asleep. The AAP notes that babies held or rocked to sleep may struggle to go back to sleep when they wake in the night.
• Big excitement. The NHS warns that too much excitement and stimulation just before bed can wake a child up again. Save tickles and wrestling for earlier in the evening.
• Anything in the crib that is not safe sleep. No pillows, blankets, bumpers or soft toys. The AAP’s safe sleep guide has the full list. A sleep sack is fine; a weighted one is not.

When to start the routine, and how it fits Night 1

If you already have a routine, keep it. Change only what needs changing, usually the position of the feed, and keep everything else familiar.

If you do not have a routine yet, start it a few nights before Night 1 and keep doing what you do now at the end, such as rocking, for those nights. Then on Night 1 the routine is already familiar, and the only new thing is the last step: going into the crib awake. Introducing one change at a time makes it easier to see what is helping.

On Night 1 itself, do the routine at the usual time, put your baby down awake, and start the waits if they cry. The Night 1 checklist lists everything to have ready, and the first night, minute by minute shows how the night tends to unfold. The full plan is on the method page.

Tonight, write your routine down as a numbered list and stick it on the nursery door, so whoever does bedtime does it the same way. The Ferber app has an optional bedtime reminder, so the routine starts on time each night of the program.

Common questions

What is the best bedtime routine for the Ferber method?

A short, calm routine of about 20 to 45 minutes, done in the same order at the same time every night, that ends with your baby going into the crib drowsy but awake. The AAP's Brush, Book, Bed is a simple model: feed early, clean teeth or gums, read a book, then into bed at a regular time.

How long should a bedtime routine be before sleep training?

The Sleep Foundation suggests a consistent routine of about 20 to 45 minutes. Raising Children Network suggests starting around 20 minutes before bedtime for young children. A shorter routine you can repeat every night is better than a long one you cannot keep up.

Should I feed my baby at the end of the bedtime routine?

Move the feed to the start of the routine instead. Feeding to sleep can become the way your baby expects to fall asleep, including after night wakings. The AAP also says the last thing to touch the teeth before bed should be the toothbrush, so feed first, then brush, then book and bed.

How long before Ferber should I start a bedtime routine?

There is no fixed rule. If you do not have a routine yet, running it for several nights before Night 1 means the only new thing on Night 1 is falling asleep in the crib alone. If you already have a routine, keep it, and just move any feed earlier.

Sources

1. American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org): Brush, Book, Bed
2. American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org): Getting Your Baby to Sleep
3. NHS: Helping your baby to sleep
4. Raising Children Network: Bedtime routines
5. Sleep Foundation: The Ferber Method
6. American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org): A Parent's Guide to Safe Sleep